Words are culture. You don’t have to subject yourself to vodka sodas like the rest of us, but learning about new cultures is always something fun. Take this chance to immerse yourself into the world of the LGBTQ+ community and to not only understand gay slang words, but also to slay gay slang words.
Whether it’s to communicate with your gal pals, or to finally understand what’s going on as you watch RuPaul’s Drag Race, there are a lot of words to get acquainted with. Why not do it now when you have time?
It’s also important to preface that a lot of gay slang words used within the LGBTQ+ community are derived from the ballroom scene, an underground subculture originating in New York City, important for letting queer people, especially coloured and Latino folks, live and express themselves when they couldn’t in the outside world. If you are not within the LGBTQ+ community, it may sound a bit off to use some of the gay slangs listed below, but this is not written to be a serious piece, nor is it meant to disrespect those who hold this culture and roots near and dear to their hearts.
A lot of this language comes from a need for expression, the need for validation, and to exclaim that you’re not alone. We’re sure many can relate. And you better relate, because there’ll be a pop quiz later.
[Hero image credit: Trixie Mattel/Instagram]
The most important gay slang words and phrases to understand, because Pride Month
Tea (n.)
“Tea” means something juicy or exclusive. To spill tea is to share gossip.
This phrase is also pretty versatile, and you can use it in a variety of ways. So, “spill,” “give me the tea,” and “what’s the tea?” are completely valid. Also, if the information is so good, you can also give it a degree of temperature. “Girl, the tea is piping hot” is a notable example.
“No tea, no shade” also means “no disrespect.”
Gagging (adj.), (v.)
In gay slang terms, to gag is actually a good thing—great, even. Drag Race France host Nicky Doll describes it best: “Gagging is basically when something is so fierce you are losing your mind on it, you’re choking on it.”
Examples include “your dress gagged everyone,” “don’t forget your cough drops, because what I am about to do will gag you,” or simply, “girl, that dance routine, gag.”
Serve (v.)
To serve means to present yourself in a fierce way, or it can mean you’re bringing a specific idea to the floor. Although, to serve doesn’t mean to just have that quality, but it also refers to how one presents themselves. “Serving face” doesn’t just mean she has a beautiful face, but also means the way she poses with the face, the makeup, how she plays with the judges, the cameras — the whole package.
“Oh she’s really serving it on the runway,” “I am serving looks tonight,” or “She is serving 1950s housewife realness, honey.”
Clock (v.)
To clock someone used to mean something much more serious than in a modern sense. Trans folks weren’t very welcomed in every society back in the day, and “passing” as the sex they’re portraying means they treated more fairly, and not denied services that are available to cis people. If someone “clocks” you, it means you’re not passing as the sex you’re trying to portray, and thus can be subject to discrimination.
Now, clocking something simply means to call out or expose a flaw. A wig isn’t laid down properly and you see all that lace? Clock that wig. Someone’s wearing open-toe heels and those toes look like they’re about to jump? Clock those heels. Two eyebrows looking more like neighbours rather than twins? Clock that makeup.
“I borrowed these heels and they’re a size down from mine. Hope nobody clocks it.”
Kiki (n.)
The term “kiki” is actually an onomatopoeic term for laughter, and it means to have a casual conversation—to kick back, gossip, and share stories. Please refer to an instructional video on the art of kiki here:
Work (v.)
In 1993, RuPaul rose from the underground NYC club scene with his hit song “Supermodel (You Better Work),” and thus presented this gay slang word into mainstream media. Sometimes spelled as “werk,” to work means to do something with an attitude. It is also typically used to cheer someone on as they perform, to recognise the werk put into it.
“Work, girl,” “Oh, work that kaftan, Miss Thing,” are good examples of the term.
Mother (n.), (adj.)
Born during the mid-19th century ballroom culture, mothers are women who have looked out for gay men, taking them in and taking care of them when their biological family had kicked them out. The phrases “house mother” or “mother of the house” were born out of their need for chosen families.
Now, they’re used to describe female individuals who are excelling, looking fantastic, or whatever Michelle Yeoh is doing right now.
Children (n.)
People consuming your art, in many cases refering to the audience.
“You girls aren’t ready for my Beyonce number. The children are being fed tonight, honey.” “Have you seen the new girl? Jenny Talia? She’s really turning it for the children.”
Judy (n.)
A good Judy means a good friend, or an ally you can rely on. This term comes from Judy Garland, who was a big supporter of the LGBTQ+ movement, and hailed by many as a gay icon.
“I haven’t visited New York for a long time, but Sybil Rights will always be my good Judy.”
Honey (n.)
In almost all cases for gay slang, if you get called something that sounds like a positive moniker, it’s not. If you get called bad words, you’re doing great. So if someone says “Oh, honey” or “Oh, babe,” it’s most likely that you’re being treated as a charity case.
To contrast, if someone says “Oh, work you b*tch,” it means you are absolutely killing it. See what we did there?
Mug (n.)
“Mug” means “face”.
“Ruby has a gorgeous close-up of her mug on her social media. She really knows who to do those brows.”
Beat (v.), (adj.)
To beat a face means to apply perfect makeup to someone’s face. It refers to the motion of using a makeup sponge to apply makeup, like you’re literally beating your face with it.
So, “Oh, Crystal can beat your face for you,” means that she’s going to apply your makeup perfectly and you’re going to look so good after the process, and “Her mug is beat for the gods, mama” means her makeup is flawless.
Queen (n.)
One of the few slurs the can be argued the LGBTQ+ community has successfully reclaimed, a queen normally refers to a feminine gay man. However, everyone deserves a royal moment no matter how in touch with their femininity. Just be sure to ask them before going out and calling gay men queens, please.
“You saw Lucinda in front of the rally yesterday? Queen behaviour.”
Shade (n.) or Read (v.)
First used in the documentary Paris is Burning, to throw shade means to point out someone’s flaws, which can be meant as a fun joke between friends, or simply be mean-spirited.
To read someone also means the same thing as to throw shade, and if someone’s “read to filth,” it means that person is being criticised harshly.
As a great example, Elektra Evangelista from the TV show Pose once exclaimed “I know that no other women have paid you any mind because women aren’t attracted to men who aren’t tall enough to ride the Cyclone at Coney Island,” and best of all: “I know you have two faces, but three chins is remarkable!” Prime examples of shade.
No tea, no shade (n.)
Combining two of the aforementioned LGBTQ+ slang words, “no tea, no shade” basically means that you’re being real — your words are not meant to be harmful nor calling anyone out. You’re giving them just the tea, no shade intended.
“No tea, no shade, but this eye makeup just isn’t working for you on stage.”
Come through (v.)
If someone is excelling, or presenting themselves in a very attractive manner, you cheer for them with “come through.” Think of a large crowd, and this person, being so good and so beautiful that they are called by you to come through to you.
“Oh come through, mama. You are glowing in that dress.”
Sickening (adj.)
In this gay slang episode of bad meaning good, if someone is sickening, it means they’re extremely fierce. They are amazing, they are serving—so much that it makes you feel the sickening from the jealousy. As you’re trying it out, pronounce the word as “sick’ning,” omitting the ‘e’ sound, or else it would sound like you’re really making them sick.
“That new album is so sickening, I cannot even.”
House down boots (adv.)
The word “boots” goes against the conventional linguistic rules a bit, as it’s an adverb that goes after an adjective. It basically means “very.” So, “house down boots” means that someone or something is extravagant, so excellent at what it’s aimed to do.
“That Britney number was fierce the house down boots. The triple axel into the split? Mama, werk.”
Giving life (v.)
Can be used as another level to “serving,” as you’re referring to something or someone that is serving so hard it invigorates you — it’s giving you life.
“I’ve never been here before. And that double act? Deb Pression and Ann Xiety were giving me life, honey.”
Camp (n.)
Wasted as a theme in the 2019 Met Gala, camp can be described in its simplest form as an exaggeration — something so exaggerated that it challenges a modernist norm of what is considered “art” or “high culture.” Although it’s majorly referred to in terms of fashion or aesthetic, it can extend to anything you can think of, as long as it holds the description of being camp. Famous examples of camp include Lady Gaga’s meat dress worn during the 2010 MTV Video Music Awards, films created by John Waters, or simply, Janis Ian loudly responding to a man’s remark with “Your mum’s chest hair” in Mean Girls.
Camp has its roots in the LGBTQ+ community, dominantly in drag culture, and while its meaning changed over time (that’s what words tend to do), its core message of over-the-top exaggeration remains the same. It can also mean something is so bad, yet so over-the-top it loops back to being good (e.g. Sharknado film series).
“Why are you wearing crocs and socks? Girl, I am so done with you.” “Girl, it’s camp. I don’t care.”
Girl (n.)
We know it’s technically not a gay slang word, but it’s all up to how you would use it. In fact, it’s famous drag performer Trixie Mattel’s favourite slang term. “Girl” is used to amp up the sentence, whether it’s to express sympathies or praise someone.
“Girl! That was so good,” “Girl, we all hated it,” or simply go “*Gasp*, girl.”
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Written by
Vichayuth Chantan
Digital Writer, Drinks and Dining
Writer by day, skinny legend by night, "Kook" Vichayuth works closely with Bangkok's F&B industry. His hobbies include bar-hopping, catching up with friends, and silently judging you from across the room.
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