Pop albums rated lower than ‘Peppa’s Adventures: The Album’ on Pitchfork

Because it’s a slow day, we gathered the albums that embarrassingly scored lower than Peppa’s Adventures: The Album on Pitchfork. Here are our findings.

Pitchfork is an online music publication that claims to be “the most trusted voice in music.” For decades, the publication has given out reviews of artists and their albums, many times having direct impact on their careers.

Seeing that Peppa’s Adventures: The Album by pop icon Peppa Pig has scored a 6.5 on their platform, we looked through the platform to see which other pop artists are left in the ditch ever since this album came out. Needless to say, “Peppa Pig ended your faves,” is certainly a phrase we never thought we’d say, but here we are.

[Hero and featured image credit: Peppa Pig/X]

Pop albums rated lower than ‘Peppa’s Adventures: The Album’ on Pitchfork

Sam Smith’s Gloria

Sam Smith‘s journey is filled with unapologetic self-love, something still hard to come by for many in the LGBTQ+ industry. Of course, that liberation is reflected in his newer discography, but let’s just say some songs got more love than others. “Unholy flips a critical cliché by sounding worse in an album-length context” is honestly gagging.

BLACKPINK’s Kill This Love EP

This mildly enjoyable EP arrived before BLACKPINK’s big Coachella performance, with the title track as the clear, clear centrepiece with four more surrounding it. “The girls rap and sing about their determination to end a toxic relationship as if it’s a life-or-death situation, although without a catchy Swiftian hook,” said reviewer Michelle Hyun Kim.

Maroon 5’s Jordi

It’s quite telling for an album to come by, stay for two years, and we still can’t name one song from it. Adam Levine posted on Instagram that he made one song from the album with “the whole world in mind,” and it seems that the feeling is not mutual. We also learned today that Meghan Thee Stallion is featured in this album, and even she cannot save it.

Katy Perry’s Witness

Although Chained to the Rhythm is a bop with not-so-subtle political messages, the same cannot be said for the rest of the tracks. If Witness taught us anything, it’s that Katy Perry could not write a diss track even if her life depended on it. “You’re ’bout as cute as an old coupon expired,” proves she has no close gay friends.

John Mayer’s The Search For Everything

For those not acquainted with John Mayer, you’ll find this album very whelming. It’s not underwhelming. It’s totally not overwhelming. It’s just is. In the words of reviewer Katherine St. Asaph, “John Mayer suffers simultaneously from an excess of taste and an oblivious lack of it.” Also, ouch.

Meghan Trainor’s Treat Myself

When Treat Myself was released, all of Meghan Trainor’s 13 fans across the globe collectively jumped for joy. This album was supposed to be scheduled for 2018, but was pushed back because Meghan doesn’t want it to be out “until I get everything out of my head and recorded in the studio.” We wish she didn’t. Her usual themes of empowerment also get extra muddled in this album, to which reviewer Dani Blum describes it as “self-flagellation.”

Doja Cat’s Scarlet

When Paint the Town Red was released, we realised that Doja Cat’s new grittier persona does have its moments in music. The song, along with Demons, shows that she can fit both elements of horror and fun into a song. The album, instead, shows that she really needs more of the “fun” bit or else it gets repetitive fast. Reviewer Anna Gaca describes this album perfectly as “an uneven album that is accomplished but gets bogged down in reactive and repetitive songs.”

Ed Sheeran’s – (Subtract)

With Ed’s prominent acoustic guitar and gloomy piano notes, it seems that this album shifts the sounds from the bangers from Divide, to the lively tunes that what can be described as the royalty-free music in a random cafe, but more sleep-inducing. As he sings about his life challenges and dark thoughts that plague his mind, it has become clear that while the message can be affectionate and sentimental, it doesn’t mean it will be a good song.