Come on Barbie, let’s go get drunk. Whatever your favourite cocktail is, we have the perfect Barbie that encapsulates who you are (there’s no alcoholic Barbie, we’ve checked).
Ever since the trailer for Barbie came out, we reached the scientific conclusion that life in plastic really is fantastic. And with so many Barbie dolls released over the decades, there’s practically one for everybody. So, we’re using that as a sort of personality test. You think of your favourite cocktail, and we’ll tell you which Barbie you are.
[Hero and featured image credit: Meghan Hessler/Unsplash]
The Barbie doll you are, based on your favourite cocktail
If your favourite cocktail is a Bloody Mary, you’re The Original Barbie in Bathing Suit
She’s the first Barbie doll ever, released in 1959. This doll is also the most popular of the decade, which brings us to one of the most prominent cocktails of the early 60s—the Bloody Mary. It’s perfect for a poolside kickback session, and as a nod to the imaginative fun Barbie has given kids ever since, the Bloody Mary can be garnished whichever way you like.
If your favourite cocktail is a Piña Colada, you’re Malibu Barbie
Nothing screams “Malibu” like the good ol’ Piña Colada. There’s different ways to make the drink, but a few things we can all agree on is that a) it needs to be rum-based, b) it’s served blended or shaken with ice, and c) it needs to be able to give you that punch of coconut. Many bartenders utilise the coconut liqueur called Malibu in this cocktail, so extra points for that.
If your favourite cocktail is a Cosmopolitan, you’re 80s Rewind Barbie
It’s not an 80s-themed night until you bring out the Cosmos. We’re bringing back the big shoulders, big hair, don’t care, and, of course, houndstooth pattern in a form of a pencil skirt. 80s Rewind Barbie means business, but also proclaims that she’s the fun one in meetings—just like the Cosmopolitan.
If your favourite cocktail is a Martini, you’re Dentist Barbie
Okay, no one likes going to the dentist. They just stab you with tools and say you don’t floss enough. So, we took that angle and ran with the Martini, the cocktail that tastes like going to the dentist. Shaken? Stirred? No, ma’am. There’s also the French Martini which uses Chambord, giving the drink a pinkish hue that resembles the mushy thing dentists use to imprint your teeth.
If your favourite cocktail is a Whiskey Sour, you’re Fashion Designer Barbie
The Whiskey Sour is not a complex drink, but requires the balance between each ingredient to be just right, and it’s more customisable than one might think. Many make it with egg white, some don’t. It’s typically garnished with an orange wheel, but many opt for a maraschino cherry, or even both on a stick. There’s nothing more representative of the cocktail than the fashion designer.
If your favourite cocktail is a Negroni, you’re Pasta Chef Barbie
Yes, there’s a Barbie specifically created to be a pasta chef. Negronis are the classic Italian way to open a meal, and in many households, so is pasta. On the website, it says that Pasta Chef Barbie also comes “with a pasta pot and pasta cutter that she can hold while ‘cooking.'” We have no idea why they put that last part in quotations.
If your favourite cocktail is a Long Island Iced Tea, you’re Paramedic Barbie
The Long Island Iced Tea, professionally proclaimed as a hot mess of a drink, is mostly ordered by women on their bachelorette parties, or when teenagers googled “cocktails” for the first time and thought they’d love the idea of an iced tea cocktail. It features four differing spirits in one glass, as well as triple sec, lemon juice, and cola. Paramedic Barbie is here to save you from yourself.
If your favourite cocktail is a Paloma, you’re Barbie Día De Muertos
While the Margarita is the second best product to come out of Mexico (the first being Selma Hayek), the Paloma is actually the national drink of Mexico. This three-ingredient, hassle-free, hard-to-mess-up cocktail offers a complex flavour profile despite its simplicity. After all, don’t we all love a little bit of tequila to end the day with?
If your favourite cocktail is an Old-Fashioned, you’re Ice Skater Barbie
The Old-Fashioned is iconic, hard-hitting, and straight-forward. The original recipe calls for Bourbon, along with muddled sugar in lieu of simple syrup, which practically doubles your prep time, but it’s so, so good. As we recall, there’s nothing more hard-hitting than a strike to the right knee—hence, Ice Skater Barbie.
If your favourite cocktail is a Flaming Sambuca, you’re the Barbie Chelsea Firetruck Playset.
No need to elaborate, right?
Vichayuth Chantan
Digital Writer, Drinks and Dining
Writer by day and skinny legend by night, Vichayuth focuses on the hospitality industry of Thailand. You'll often find him at a bar finding new friends, discovering new drinks, and silently judging you from across the room.
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