There are many Olympic sports to choose from, and the people of Bangkok are amazing at many specific things. Those things are not included as part of the Olympics just yet, however, if these things were Olympic sports, we’d surely be going for gold.
The 2024 Paris Olympics include a total of 32 sports; 28 returning and 4 new ones. While the athletes representing our country are doing their best in Paris, we understand how our cultures are best represented through many specific activities. Let this story be a plea to the committee, as if these were to be included, the gold medal is just a Grab bike ride away.
Get those shoes from Supersports and that dress from Asava, and let’s get to work.
[Hero and featured image credit: Dan Thekidzzzzz/Unsplash]
Skills that should be an Olympic sport, but aren’t: Bangkok edition
Cross-Sukhumvit Track and Field
Rules: Race from the end of Soi Sukhumvit 1 to Phra Khanong Market, checkpoint at Emsphere, land transportations only. Event starts 6pm, Friday. Fastest to reach the destination wins.
Khlong Saen Saep Sailing
Rules: Race down the infamous Khlong Saen Saep while avoiding service boats. Nose plugs and face masks are not permitted. The fastest to reach the finish line wins.
Morning Tai Chi at Lumphini Park
Rules: Perform tai chi with all the grandmas at Lumphini Park until they all approve of your performance. This event starts after making merit with passerby monks in the morning.
International-Relations Triathlon to Welcome K-Pop Artists at Suvarnabhumi
Rules: Rush to the airport to welcome some K-pop artist flying in for a show in Bangkok. Win if your existence is acknowledged by the artist. There are normally no winners for this event.
Weightlifting (Intergenerational Trauma)
Rules: Survive a Chinese New Year reunion dinner with a Thai-Chinese family while bringing your significant other for the first time. Scores are determined by performance. No homosexual couples allowed due to overwhelming number of casualties.
Obstacle Course Cycling
Rules: Cycle from Bangkok Christian College to the Rosewood Bangkok while avoiding incoming motorcycle taxis. Checkpoint at Sathorn intersection. Fewest accidents wins.
Social Ladder Climbing
Rules: Dine at Michelin-starred restaurants, drink at bars on the 50 Best list, and attend society events. Winner is determined by most stories posted on social media. Disqualified if winner actually knows what they’re talking about.
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Written by
Vichayuth Chantan
Digital Writer, Drinks and Dining
Writer by day, skinny legend by night, "Kook" Vichayuth works closely with Bangkok's F&B industry. His hobbies include bar-hopping, catching up with friends, and silently judging you from across the room.
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