If your word of the day is not ‘demure,’ do you even internet? As we slowly recover from being brats all summer, being “very demure, very mindful” seems to be the new norm du jour. But how do you live out this viral TikTok trend? Here’s our guide on how to be very demure, very mindful in a Bangkok setting (and beyond). Please don’t @ me. This was written by a millennial.
As somebody who has crossed the 30-years-on-earth mark, this new trend on the block feels strangely wholesome, even if it isn’t truly intended to be so. Rocket-launched by Jools Lebron on TikTok, the trend came about when the creator posted a guide to ‘how to be demure and modest and respectful in the workplace.’ Outlining things like applying subtle make-up, wearing appropriate clothing, and appearing “presentable,” the video quickly went viral for its approachability, but also its humour. “A lot of you girls go to the interview looking like Marge Simpson and go to the job looking like Patty and Selma. Not demure.”
[Hero and Featured Image Credit: Streets of Food/Unsplash]
@joolieannie
For a whole week later, Lebron went on to share more tips on how to be demure and mindful, ranging from travelling with your family, to attending a drag show. She even shares her tips for a very demure, very mindful hangover.
@joolieannie
The internet took note, and at the time of writing, Jools Lebron has a following of over 1.8 million on TikTok. Her call to act in a more modest and considerate way has even caught the attention of major brands across the globe, from US airline Delta over to Canadian fashion retailer Ssense and international beauty labels Nars and Maybelline. The latter even toyed with their world-famous slogan, editing it to “maybe it’s very demure, maybe it’s Maybelline.”
@maybelline_uk Maybe it’s very demure, maybe it’s Maybelline #verydemure #demure
Whilst being ‘demure’ normally refers to being modest, quiet, and reserved, it isn’t really the key to Lebron’s new trend. A foil to the much wilder ‘brat summer,’ many have come out to explain that being ‘very demure, very mindful’ is actually somewhat of a commentary on a lot of the other TikTok trends out there. According to Glamour UK, it underpins a “knowing satirical comment on some TikTok influencers’ inability to do anything without highlighting how they’re doing it.”
The truth is you could probably do anything very demurely. But that’s kind of the point.
Always keen to embrace a little sarcasm in life, we then got to wondering how we could amp up our very own ‘very demure, very mindful’ lifestyle in Bangkok. After all, we’re no real strangers to being polite and considerate. We dress ‘demure’ when we go to the temple, we are mindful towards our elders (or else!), and we definitely up the ‘cutesy’ when we go out. Nonetheless, we took a page out of Jools Lebron’s e-book, and constructed our own, more localised, very demure, very mindful guide. From BTS etiquette to Botox gate-keeping, here’s how you too can be very demure, very mindful in your everyday life.
How to be very demure, very mindful: A guide to Bangkok life
“See how I come to work?” Always bring a cutesy cardigan if you’re going to freeze in your office air conditioning. Very mindful, very demure.
Maybe keep a blazer at the office too, in case the poo-yai suddenly call for a meeting. Very office chic, very respectful, and very demure.
The pole on the BTS is not yours to straddle. Let other people hold on, too. Keep it very mindful, very demure.
Make sure you let other commuters get off the train before you get on, and always give up your seat for the elderly. No need to push. Being patient is being mindful.
Don’t make a fuss about your morning Cha Nom if there are other people in the queue. Be mindful of the queue, keep your order demure.
You can get waan noi, extra cream, less sugar, half ice, double sweet milk another time (not rush hour).
Don’t order cutlery with your Grab Food order, and don’t order during a rainstorm. More sustainable, more mindful (of the environment). So demure.
You have cutlery at home. There is no need to order extra plastic waste. Rate your driver five stars if he did a good job, and cut him some slack if he encounters a sudden downpour.
Wear sunscreen and a sun hat when you’re outside for long. The sun ages you. Age gracefully, very demure.
Drink Naam Samun Pai for hydration (extremely demure). Our Asian aunties know best.
Tip your masseuse and say “thank you” at the spa. Even if it hurts to walk. Even if it hurts to talk. Very mindful, very demure.
Your muscles will recover.
Go to a Bangkok fine dining restaurant and *don’t* post 17 stories of your meal. Be mindful of your followers. Be demure.
Yes, we know it was hard to get a table at Sorn. Pretend your phone died and you just lived in the moment, or something.
We all know you got Botox. Don’t gate-keep. It’s not mindful, it’s not demure.
Mind the truth. This is Bangkok city, we all get Botox.
And never, ever eat the last piece of food on the shared plate at dinner. Above being very demure and very mindful, in Thailand, don’t forget to be so very grengjai.
It’s what we’re known for.
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Written by
Lisa Gries
Creative Content Director, Bangkok
Lisa is the Creative Content Director for Lifestyle Asia and Prestige Thailand. She leads a data-driven content strategy for both titles, finding the balance between scathing SEO metrics and sucks-you-right-in story-telling. Lisa writes mostly on dining, travel, and pop-culture, and is a sucker for a good savoury cocktail. Passionate about Bangkok’s ever-growing bar scene, she also sits on the committee for various bar and spirit awards in the region.
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