It’s time to settle the fight for the top of the pyramid once and for all: who would win in a no-holds-barred fight, Moo Deng or Butterbear?
When the time comes to rise against humankind, who would be leading the animal kingdom to victory? Who would rule them all as the ultimate mascot — the most relatable, viral meme queen of all relatable, viral meme queens?
In the blue corner, it’s Moo Deng the pygmy hippo. In the red corner, it’s Butterbear in all her buttery fluffiness. Let’s examine how the fight would go and determine the odds.
[Hero and featured image credit: Khao Kheow Open Zoo; Butterbear/Facebook]
Moo Deng vs Butterbear: Who would win in a fight?
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Moo Deng:
- Approx. 225kg (at mature age)
- Around two months old
- Four-legged
- Moist
Butterbear
- Approx. 8kg
- Three years old (as per lore)
- Bipedal
- Fluffy with very demure wardrobe
Pros in combat
Moo Deng
- Visitors pelted things at him (combat experience)
- Expertise in combat roll, combat run, combat scream
- Can withstand water attacks
Butterbear
- Soulless eyes (you can’t tell what she’s thinking)
- Arms, so probably can hold a knife
- Dance ability perfect for fighting (see Pitch Perfect 3)
Cons in combat
Moo Deng
- Confined to experience at her enclosure
- No arms
- A literal baby
Butterbear
- Facial expressions stuck in place, can’t intimidate enemy
- Has a strict schedule at her cafe
- Not as moist
Fights they would win
Moo Deng
- Synchronised swimming
- Karaoke
- Foiling the evil plans of Dr Doofenshmirtz
Butterbear
- Dance Dance Revolution
- Staring contest
- Call of Duty
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Written by
Vichayuth Chantan
Digital Writer, Drinks and Dining
Writer by day, skinny legend by night, "Kook" Vichayuth works closely with Bangkok's F&B industry. His hobbies include bar-hopping, catching up with friends, and silently judging you from across the room.
