HR Explains: Can I take sick leave if I’m heartbroken? And more on love in the workplace

Welcome to Lifestyle Asia’s HR Explains. Every month, we sit down with a Human Resources professional to tackle some of your most burning work-life questions. For our February episode, it’s all about love in the workplace. How do you act on an office romance? Can you work in the same company as your girlfriend or boyfriend? And most importantly, if you’re feeling completely lost and alone, can you take sick leave if you’re heartbroken?

911 office emergency! Have you ever been in a situation at work that you weren’t quite sure how to handle? Perhaps you’ve encountered a toxic co-worker that’s making you miserable, or perhaps you’re uncertain about bringing up a sensitive topic with your superior. For any and all of these work-life woes, we tracked down a wise and knowledgable HR professional to offer some sage career advice, the best practices for handling corporate situations in a professional manner, and where you stand within your legal rights in the workplace.

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HR Explains: How do I ask my boss for a bonus this December? And more work-life questions

This month, our HR Hunk is in the meeting room with cupid to help you find the best way to navigate office romances, handle heart ache, and set healthy boundaries at work by being “bold but diplomatic.” As millennials spend more time in the office (or in a hybrid system, if you’re lucky), find out how to maintain professionalism at work while still being open to love. Perhaps, business can be like a box of chocolates. Read on for February’s nuggets of workplace wisdom below.

HR Explains: How to manage love and romance at work

Dear HR, I have a broken heart. I can’t go on. Can I take sick leave?

Ouch! Heartbreaks are a bummer, and some find it difficult to focus at work while dealing with emotional setbacks. The pandemic educated us about mental health, and some organisations now offer “mental health leaves.” If you work for a company that offers such leaves then this falls under this category. Otherwise take an annual leave as most companies approve of sick leaves only when one can prove physical illness. I suggest to have an honest conversation with your boss before filing a leave. This may help your boss be more considerate about the tasks assigned to you, and who knows, you might get extra paid days off!

Psst… I’m having a workplace romance. Is it better if the company doesn’t know about it, or should I inform someone?

We are humans who may feel special towards someone at work. Most of us know of successful marriages that started in the workplace. I don’t find anything wrong in telling someone about it, especially if you are both from different teams. But be aware that if your roles affect each other’s work (e.g., your partner is your boss or you are both part of the leadership team), someone of authority must at least know and discuss how to avoid potential conflicts of interest. Also, speak to your HR for policies that govern this. Best that you be selective as to who you share this information with, and as a couple, discuss how you can maintain professionalism in your jobs.

Cupid’s arrow has struck and my partner and I both want to work at the same company. Is this a good idea? How can we make it work?

I honestly don’t find anything wrong with it, especially if your roles may not pose conflicts of interest. However, if you both reach the offer stage, it is best that you as a couple discuss how you will maintain professionalism in the workplace. You might even want to consider discussing this with your potential immediate manager if you both end up working for the same team. While I believe there is nothing wrong for a couple working for the same company, it is best to anticipate the potential issues and agree on your work dynamics.

Please keep this anonymous. I think my colleague is into me. He/She keeps sending me flirtatious Slack messages, and secret deliveries. How can I set healthy boundaries without making it awkward?

My usual stance on this is the other person deserves to hear your honest thoughts in a polite way. So depending on the mode of communication you prefer using, thank your colleague’s thoughtfulness then tell him/her that you are not comfortable and politely request to stop sending the messages and gifts (you might even consider returning the gifts too). If this still persists after the first conversation, make sure to send this message again but ensure that the message is sent in writing. This way, you can share this with HR or your boss who may help you get out of this awkward situation.

#NotMyValentine: My boss asked me to buy roses and chocolates for his wife this Valentine’s Day. How do I get out of tasks that aren’t part of my job description, without ruining my working relationship?

I always encourage colleagues to stand up for themselves and politely tell their bosses if they do not see things right. If it’s not part of your job description, tell your boss all your work tasks for the day and how they are extremely important, and that the team may suffer if you take time off work to buy these gifts. Also, be bold but diplomatic enough to say that this is not in your scope of work even if this is the first time you were asked to do this. This is a gentle reminder to your boss not to cross boundaries and may even speak about your reliability and loyalty to your job. I understand that your boss may react negatively but I’d always say that excellent performance always proves your value in the company.